This journey that I am on towards whatever it becomes, is traveled one day, one hour and one minute at a time. Sometimes the road is rough and broken and I want to give up. Nevertheless, sometimes the road leads me to support and love.
This month marks a full year without meds. However, it is not just about life without meds by any means. It is about life with choices. It is as if I just learning I am a person with choices. Sometimes I do realize how much I have changed.
I know how bad it can get. I have had years of darkness and rejection. Through all the darkness, I have gained something. I have gained a sense of self, something that I did not have previously.
I am not in a particular great place but I think that is okay. I have no idea what anything is or what it will become. But I do know what I do have.
I do have a few people who support me and are on my side. I have three beautiful little monsters that always make me smile. I have friends who listen to me (& my parts) on both good days and bad. I have my twitter buddies and everyone who reads my blog.
The thing that nearly brought tears to my eyes recently was when I told my little monster that I could not hug him. And he replied, “That is okay, I will hug you with my eyes”.
That shows me that it is possible. It is possible to have a relationship with someone without touch. It also gives me a sense of hope that my 5 year old monster can learn that you do not have to hug someone to give them love.
Right now, I am celebrating life but tomorrow may be different. It is all in the journey.
The Hope for Trauma 
You’re so eloquent dear. The being ok and feeling anything emotionally thing kicks me in the ass, I just don’t understand it. But you give me precious hope. Thank you
Thanks. I was in an extremely polly-ana mood when I wrote this but its still sincere and true :) I glad that I can give you something as you give me human connection via twitter and also cute cat pics & vids. Take Care.
“I can hug you with my eyes” – that is so cute and so thoughtful. It made me want to cry and smile at the same time :’)
So uplifting. It was good to see this post… I needed to read something positive.
Wow! What an inspiring, insightful and aware post about the journey. So well said. And I love the “little monster” quote about hugging you with his eyes! Adorable!
Bee- At that moment my cousin was the sweetest thing ever…then about three minutes later not so much :)
Paul- Thanks, I agree with you sometimes I need positive stuff. Esp when I get burned out and lose sight of stuff.
Thriver- Thanks, sometimes they are so cute. Other times not so much :)
This post really touched my heart. Thanks for your honesty and courage in sharing. And thanks so much for allowing us to use this wonderful post for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I finally got the edition published at my blog. I’m so glad you joined us!
Sometimes little monsters can be wise men in disguise. Loving you with his eyes is so sweet. I am glad that you shared this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.
Hugging with eyes. Such a sweet idea.
I really love what your little one said about hugging with the eyes, too. Thanks, again, for contributing to our blog carnival.
Thanks for sharing this again. It is simply beautiful and honest, which life isn’t always either of those things.