I have been slacking on blogging. I feel like I start almost every post with the sentence “I haven’t posted in a long time”. I have a pretty demanding job and when I have downtime it usually consists of moments when I don’t engage in thinking.
I started practicing yoga everyday these past few months. I never realized that connecting with my body would be do challenging. I honestly don’t know how typical people can stand being one with their bodies all the time. I find comfort in knowing that I can disconnect myself if need be, I guess that’s the beauty of dissociation.
I’m in a really interesting place in my life. Some days I’m truly terrified because I obsess about mundane things. I’m displacing feelings, but I actually have feelings and emotions that I can connect with.
I am worried that I won’t ever find a relationship. It’s not that I need anyone, I just want a person to spend my life with and to love me as I am right now. I’m living my best life, I’m achieving personally and professionally. I know that I’m really hard on myself but I’m trying to work on that, I just know what I want.
I’m being more truthful than ever. I’m letting feelings and emotions float into the universe. I’m connecting with an alter that has been dormant for almost a decade. That is not something I’m ready to share on this blog yet, but I’m not overwhelmed. I’m in a space of hopefulness and peace which is where I hope to stay.