I’m out of skips

I have so much to say but the words aren’t able to come out. I become overwhelmed by the moon. Alters are going into their places. I’m just waiting, holding my breath.

I’m using every and all skills that I can think of until the date passes. But I’m still afraid of losing more time, I write down my car mileage, I stay awake so there is no chance I can switch in my sleep.

I’m just counting, breathing, pacing, exercising, losing track of hour, days. I miss therapy because I can’t bear to even process the memories surfacing.

I’m running for hours so I can feel my body. The skin I wear feels unlike mine, alters attempt to remove it unsuccessfully.

I sit in my room in the dark just trying to figure out how to get past this part. This is so very different, I give every song on my pandora stations a thumbs down, and now I’m out of skips.

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One thought on “I’m out of skips

  1. Just wanted to say you are not totally alone. It’s always so hard to remember to ask for help or just someone to sit with you even if you can only handle small moments. We are always thinking of you so is your Doc. :-) Sending much empathy your way. Ravin

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