Time passes and life just goes. Good things are happening. I’m slowly but surely loving the life I’m living right now.
In less than 5 months I will be done with my undergraduate degree. It has taken me almost 8 years to complete. There was a time when I didn’t think I would be this close to completing my degree.
To say that I’m happy would be an understatement. It’s more than a piece of paper to me, it’s a symbol that I’m a functional person. I no longer define myself as a mental patient because school have allowed me to develop a new identity- no pun intended :)
I started being excited to be done about a week ago. I had coffee with someone that I knew from the time I was very sick. She was there in the very start. She was one of the people who had to hold me down to keep me safe from myself but also held my hand while I was getting injections so that I could calm down. I think that it’s been important for me to have healthy people in my life who knew me in the darkest days.
It was a different experience meeting with this person within the space I live in currently. I think that maybe it was something that I needed, in order to finally allow myself to be excited about finishing school soon. I needed to remember the space I was last time I saw this person because I am exponentially better currently.
That difficult time changed me. There were few constants within my life and staying connected with someone from that time allows me to realize the change because they are seeing it. I’m in my body everyday so change is sometimes hard to see. I’m just thankful that this person still exists in my life. I remember when I used to have terrible flashbacks and body memories, this person used to talk to me to help me and I remembered her voice. So hearing her voice again actually brought tears to my eyes.