Needs vs choice

Today was one of those days. A day consisting of flashbacks, body memories, nausea and exhaustion. I haven’t had a trigger day in quite some time until today.

It was one of those days. None of my coping skills seemed to help and I even reached out to my T. I am really ambient about reaching out because I don’t want anyone to think I’m needy.

But I think there is a difference between needs and choices. And today I chose to reach out to my T and I made a conscious choice to have an extra session.

Today while I was flashing back into my past I felt very afraid and alone. I wonder if my life is going to be like this forever- I wonder if my triggers are going to stay driven by a date.

Today I didn’t have a great day. I was uncomfortable in my own skin but I made a choice to try to feel better. I don’t even know if this post makes any sense but I chose to write it.

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