It happened…I had a rough day during the fall. I guess I can’t refer to it as a rough day because it was only a portion of my day. Actually more like the night. Which seems to be the portion of the day that if I was going to have a rough time it would occur at night. It is not true that this is always the case but I am just stating the trend that I am tracking.
And yes, I am tracking my difficult times of the day and which day it is because I feel that there is a pattern. Since the newest alter emerged I have been trying to do everything I can to maintain patience with myself. This is my life and I need to suck it up. I need to keep doing the things I know how to do when I have rough moments.
I’m trying to conceptualize that moments (bad ones) does not mean I am a failure. My theory that I wrote about in an earlier post is still working. I need to be more confident in my experience on my journey. I always figure it out because that’s just what I do. But being the perfectionist that I am I want instant gratification. Sometimes I just need to trust the process because it works and even though I have rough moments- I’m doing this.