Season changes have always been a challenging time for me. Last fall I was transitioning to school during a seasonal change and I ended up have a rough time. So way before the fall this year I planned, theorized and prepped myself and my alters.
I was feeling pretty confident that my plan was going to work but for the past three days I have had extremely high levels of anxiety. I think I am experiencing anxiety attacks from some of my insiders who are extremely fearful of the season change. I have been having a really hard time going to sleep for longer than a few hours. I can feel the tenseness throughout my body because when I awake from sleep I find myself unable to calm myself down enough to return to sleep.
I have been try to exercise a ton as to counteract my anxiety and basically make myself so tired that all I want to do is sleep for hours. Yesterday it didn’t work but I am hoping today it will.
I am trying to not be hard on myself because I am doing the best I can. But I wish one day soon that my alters can view the season changes as something good. Fall is basically about wearing hoodies and enjoying the really nice weather.
This year I am determined to celebrate Halloween with my friends because being triggered sucks and its boring when everyone else is enjoying a time when you can pretend to be someone else- it you think about it Halloween correlates to DID because I could be someone else everyday if I wanted to be.