Fallin’

Season changes have always been a challenging time for me. Last fall I was transitioning to school during a seasonal change and I ended up have a rough time. So way before the fall this year I planned, theorized and prepped myself and my alters.

I was feeling pretty confident that my plan was going to work but for the past three days I have had extremely high levels of anxiety. I think I am experiencing anxiety attacks from some of my insiders who are extremely fearful of the season change. I have been having a really hard time going to sleep for longer than a few hours. I can feel the tenseness throughout my body because when I awake from sleep I find myself unable to calm myself down enough to return to sleep.

I have been try to exercise a ton as to counteract my anxiety and basically make myself so tired that all I want to do is sleep for hours. Yesterday it didn’t work but I am hoping today it will.

I am trying to not be hard on myself because I am doing the best I can. But I wish one day soon that my alters can view the season changes as something good. Fall is basically about wearing hoodies and enjoying the really nice weather.

This year I am determined to celebrate Halloween with my friends because being triggered sucks and its boring when everyone else is enjoying a time when you can pretend to be someone else- it you think about it Halloween correlates to DID because I could be someone else everyday if I wanted to be.

 

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2 thoughts on “Fallin’

  1. Feelin for you! I traditionally like fall because it means going back to school … just this fall we’re not going … maybe in January, we’ll see. But for the meantime can you track back to the parts that are making the time difficult? What are they experiencing? Maybe you should ask THEM who you should be this year? Ok, you probably thought of that already. *sigh* always a fifth wheel ;)

    Our best,
    Anns

    http://newsdidmpd.blogspot.com
    http://annsmultipleworldofpersonality.blogspot.com

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