I have a thing for small spaces. Small spaces are so very calming to me. During the rough times when I was away at trauma hospitals I could be found much of the time inside of my closet where I was supposed to keep my clothes.
My alters and I are the happiest when we are in an small enclosed space with low lighting. I guess that one would say this may be a side effect of being kept inside of a cage. But I am beginning to understand that my cage was actually the safest place I could be during abuse. I think I love small spaces because I associate small spaces with safe times.
It’s an unexplainable feeling when I am able to go into a small space when I am triggered. I am able to soothe myself and come back to the present much faster than being in a large space.
Sometimes this journey feels so complex and confusing. But I have found that if I allow myself to go back to the basics by recreating a non- traumatizing cage I am able to feel safe.
My alters are pretty simplistic beings- their needs are sometimes random but nonetheless, need to be addressed. Most of the time my alters can calm down with the implications of a few skills that I have protected over the year but manly consist of animal planet, fishy tanks and a small confined place.
I recently repainted my room well actually it only turned out to be my closets because we all couldn’t agree on a color. But I made myself a nice chill spot in my closet that I am laying in right now. I def hope that I never lose the ability to feel safe in a small space because it’s so nice to just soak it up.