I have written numerous posts about watching my little cousins sleep. It used to make me feel sad and triggered because at that point in my life I was still mourning my childhood. I never was able to be that safe but that’s my past and it’s over and done.
I have come a long way, even in the past few months. I have grown in many ways because I did and continue to do the work. It’s painful and feels terrible in the moment but the feeling of overcoming such a huge trigger is unexplainable. I can finally just live free without being tied down by a trigger. I no longer avoid this trigger.
I am able to watch my little cousins sleep without being overwhelmed by emotions of my past. Watching them sleep peacefully is a great thing. Being safe is good and in my life currently I am safe.
I found that since my abuser passed away I have been able face and overcome many triggers. I think this was the life I was intended to live. Triggers restricted me because I was so afraid of admitting that my past effects me. This is the most difficult thing I will ever have to do and I am learning so much about myself and the world through this journey.
There are just some people in the world that do terrible things to innocent children. Some doesn’t mean all and some children grow up safe and watching a safe childhood is something I have never seen before. I actually learn so much from my little cousins safe childhood. I have been watching them sleep for hours and it is simply breathtaking.