I have been with my family for 8 days. It has been rather interesting observing my mom. She does and says things for no reasons. I have managed to not get into a confrontation for 8 straight days. I don’t believe that she has changed because there were numerous occasions that she attempted to start a confrontation with me. In the past I would fall right into her trap- and yes it is a trap.
I can’t blame my mom because she is a product of her environment. She was raised by my abuser and I do feel bad for her because she never had a chance to live a true life.
It bothers me when she is critical of herself. I’m trying to work on that aspect of myself. She asked me how she looked in her bathing suit yesterday and I told her that I liked the way she looked. But because she’s so critical of herself, she didn’t and couldn’t hear me.
I never thought I would feel bad for her but I do. I feel bad that she never had a chance. All of her siblings act the same as her and I understand now. I understand why she does question the abnormality of her thoughts. It is so similar to the normality I felt being a multiple without knowing the diagnosis.
But I think that as much as these two things are similar- they differ. My mom is never going to come to a realization that she isn’t truly living life but I did and now my life isn’t anything like my moms.