Do you believe in DID?

I have a secret life that most people do not know about. At any given moment I have tons of things and people talking in my head. I get to color and eat sugary cereal everyday.

I have constant entertainment in my inner world. I need less sleep than the average person. I (we) are never going to have to grow up if we don’t want to.

Some define my secret life as a disorder but I don’t. Being a multiple isn’t what the media portrays in the movies. I always have been and always will be a multiple because I adapted to my real secret world. But being a multiple in my eyes is just me. I am a person that is unlike anyone else and for once it’s actually a good thing.

I am realizing that I’m pretty “normal”. My multiplicity protected my exsistance and allowed me stay alive.

I hope that the people who don’t believe in DID understand that I have never had a choice to believe – everything was forced upon me even as a small infant.

I am a functional member of society and I do most of the right things. I will never harm anyone, I would be more likely to harm myself. There is a lot of stigma against my disorder which is why I don’t speak out, even when people who are close to me doubt DID.

They doubt DID because they can’t possibly think that another person could harm a person to the point of dehumanization. But the truth is, if this person knew about my secret life they would believe in DID. They would be able to see that I push myself to my limits so that I can be functional.

I believe in DID because I lived my childhood in a cage, had I unwanted sexual relations and saw things that no one should. I know that true evil exists in the world because I looked in to his eyes. I saw and I forgave. I forgave, unforgivable things because I think I deserve a chance. I wonder if this person read this they would think about their judgements- I will never know but I know that DID is real because it’s my life, my exsistance and the reason that I am still alive.

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6 thoughts on “Do you believe in DID?

  1. I’ve very recently lost a friend because she found about dissociation and that was without her knowing about D.I.D. At times having to hide makes the world seem very lonely. I don’t have a problem being how i am, i only start to feel the shame when i think of other peoples reactions towards me and sometimes wish i could just switch off from caring.
    I love that thought about never having to grow up if we don’t want too :)

  2. It’s unfortunate that it seems like people are either on one side or the other (they believe DID exists or that it doesn’t), without the middle gray area. I know a lot of people with DID, and it’s very frustrating to see so much disbelief and how society (and some of the mental health care system) treats it. I’m sorry you’ve had people not believe you, but I’m very glad you made this post – “survival” pretty much says it all, and pretty much sums up how we’ve made it. Take care.

  3. Hope for Trauma…You are so right when you say people don’t want to believe there is that much evil in the world. But, it’s the truth. Some people just can’t face truth. DID is very real -it’s wonderful you know that about yourself and understand it is a gift that helpd you survive. I hope you are doing well and have safe people in your life that do believe you.

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