Moments Define

I don’t think that there is one person in the world that is happy with every part of their life and or childhood. Everybody has something circumstances that they have to overcome because no one truly lives a perfect life. If there was a way to live a perfect life tons of people would have figured out how to make a crap ton of money off it.

I think that there is a time and a place for everything. With that said- I think that sometimes you just need to suck up your crappy life and enjoy whatever you have. The world doesn’t owe any body anything. It’s about survival of the fittest- which by the way wasn’t created by Darwin, it was created by Herbert Spencer.

Being content with life has been a difficult task for me at times. In the moments of pain and extreme feelings, I am not thankful for the life I have because- well it is difficult. Having flashbacks and abreaction are both physically and mentally painful. But I know that, that is what healing feels like sometimes- it’s pure raw pain. Healing for me means pushing through when all you want to do is give up.

Healing for me is going to therapy for hours on end because I don’t enjoy doing anything slow. I don’t like wasting time on the past because my present is so good. I am so lucky to live the life that I have. Every moment is a chance to learn and become a better more wholesome individual.

My childhood was spent in the 4 sided cage where the moments felt like hours and the hours felt like days. Healing from that doesn’t feel good in the moment, but the moments pass and things get easier.

I had a moment the other day while I was laying on my T’s floor coming back from a difficult memory. She said, “Everything is going to be okay” and for the first time I replied, “I know it always is”.

 

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