Each day that I live life outside of the group, I learn something new about how other people navigate the world. And I also learn about myself and there’s a sentence that goes through my head every time I find myself relating to another person. Night is dark for everyone.
I wrote a poem a while back called Rain & Clouds, which I actually made into a childrens book for a project in one of my classes, had that sentence in it.
The phase helps me to feel more “normal” but the reality is that many people experience pain, hurt and heartbreak every day. The world is full of sadness but it is also full of people who live outside of their situation. When people choose to finding healing and peace alone their own personal journey towards whatever is or has gone on in their life are allowing themselves to truly be a person who gets to experience living.
I think that all people need and want similar things- love, acceptance, and safeness. I find it so ironic that I have all those things in my life every day. It seems like a not so distant past that I did not have any of those things.
Change is really something. But I think that during the change I personally don’t enjoy it because I it doesn’t feel within my control.
Last weekend I spent some time with my aunt just talking, she gave me this picture of myself of a baby, and in the picture, I am sleeping so peacefully. I am trying to figure out what to do with it. I always find it difficult to look at pre-abuse photos of myself. I do have a picture of my sister and I by my desk that I look at everyday but this picture makes me feel different. I feel something unexplainable when I look at this photo and I’m not sure what to do with it.