It was almost an instant feeling when March ended and April began yesterday. I slept for 12 hours last night because my insiders were finally calm enough for me to relax. It was such a nice feeling- rested today so that I could actually focus on my schoolwork.
Even though March felt incredibly long and difficult, I actually learned many things about myself. I made a list-, which is no particular order it is merely word vomit :)
- I am defiantly stronger than I think I am.
- Bribery doesn’t work during high trigger times because my alters are not always able to cooperate.
- I am sensitive about being sensitive.
- I have a really awesome person in my life right now (and she reads my blog).
- I have emotions.
- I’m thankful my brain and my heart are not connected.
- I am getting better at controlling my flashbacks on my own.
- I still have a ton to work on.
- I’m more “normal” than most people.
- If I am more active and run more during high trigger times the endorphins balance out my alters.
- I get triggered when people are behind.
- I get paranoid by old people in starbucks but they really aren’t there for me.
- Suicide is no longer an option and an instant thought for my alters.
- My alters try to pet the fish in my fish tank.
Thanks to everyone for sending me your supportive words both online and in real life.