It is really interesting how my life has recently been playing out. I am constantly confronted by many things from my past. And sometimes other peoples situation are symbolic of my journey- through other people I am finding that I am leaning about myself. I get to look at some very similar situations but I get a totally new perspective. I am on the other side this time- and I’m on the healthy side!
Even though I am dealing with these SRA memories- I am finally starting to appreciate where I am on my journey right now. I keep telling my therapist that I want to go faster because I want to be better yesterday. But she keeps telling me that I’m making good progress. But I feel like I’m going so slow because I don’t have as much time to process and think about my memories as I used to. I think that may be a positive- I am just enjoying and appreciating all the awesome things and people I have in my life. I think I am happy- or I think that I am at least close to what happy feels like.
I find that there are days where I still just don’t know- I sometimes feel so indecisive. But I think this is due to all the changes that are going on both externally and internally. Again I feel that this is a positive. I find that only’s go through this as well from time to time. I think that it may just be life- I almost just called myself “normal” :)
A side note- I don’t understand why spell check continues to not promote internal communication. In my world- (the multiple world) only’s is a word. And the words “my” and “insiders” do grammatically make sense in a sentence when placed next to each other. I defiantly want to make a multiple dictionary.