I’m going to integrate into a superhero

Sometimes I feel like I am taller when I know that it is not physically possible for my height to change daily. I have a friend that it the same height as I am but today I finally realized why I say that I feel taller than her.

Let me just say that the mind-body connection of DID is fascinating. At times, it is very validating because I sometimes doubt that I am a multiple because I still experience some denial and I still find myself saying “is this real life?” because sometimes my memories are so bizarre that I am not sure if I’m in real life. I don’t know what would be the opposite if real life? Maybe a fake life…nonetheless, I still find myself wondering the life that singletons live.

I wish that somehow I could calculate how much of my brain I constantly use. I have this class that is about the multiple intelligence [no pun intended :)] and I feel like one or many of my alters could fit into all of them. I often wonder what integration would be or feel like- maybe I could integrate all my alters into one and become a superhero. Which would be totally awesome in my opinion.

Ok so I was supposed to talk about my realization about height. So I realized today when other alters are close or when they look through my eyes they perceive themselves as taller than my body actually is- again this mind/body connection is fascinating. I wish more people knew about it because I def think its worth being studied.


One thought on “I’m going to integrate into a superhero

  1. Hi,

    About twenty-five years ago I had a therapist who did an assessment of level of dissociation, basically it was assessing for being multiple. One of the questions was about perceptions that your body is not the right size to match who you are inside. I had gone through that some times with my fingers and hands, as though they were two sizes at once. I feel that way a lot when the Littles are spending more time “out” and near to me. I also feel that a lot in memories where one of the Littles or others share a memory with me now and then they are not the same age or size as our body. Mostly they have the perception that the body is too big or even in the memory they will be seeing themselves and their body as being small, even when I am twelve and even as an adult. I’ve learned that I can’t date a memory just from their perception of age and size, as accurately as when I try to glean other information about time and place from the memories.

    I think they do study that, in the field of dissociation. I don’t know what it is called. But I can really relate.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


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