Mistake

I made the mistake of coming home this weekend. I almost feel that it’s worse to be in this environment now because I have had a taste of life outside of it.

In my room at school it’s calm -with the sounds of Jack Johnson lightly playing in the background. I can do what I want when I want. People do not belittle or shout at my house at school because all the people in the house respect each other.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to let go of the connection or rather the disconnection of my biological family. It makes me so sad that they don’t value my education as something important.

But its not too much of a surprise because they don’t support reading either. I always found it so difficult to read as a child because I lacked the self confidence. I just don’t fit here at all. I sometimes wish that I could just be just like them because then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

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3 thoughts on “Mistake

  1. I think even if you were more like your family you would still be hurt and unhappy. I don’t think you’d be happy because you wouldn’t be you. :)
    You’ve made a choice to try to move beyond the “rules of home” and coming back this weekend reminded you of it. Thank goodness you have a calm safe place to go back to.

  2. Sounds like you “fit in” quite nicely at school. I am sorry to hear your parents don’t support your education. My husband went through the same thing with his family, and it is still going on even though he graduated college in 1993. Now they resent his professional accomplishments and say he has them because “he always was lucky.” This ticks him off because he worked hard for his degree, and he even worked full time to pay for his education. Go back to school, enjoy it, it’s a wonderful time, and take care of you. :)

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