I am so excited that I can finally be writing this sentence- I am now a college graduate. As I was walking in with about a thousand other graduates, I finally felt something. I was so proud of myself.
I thought back to the days when I could not even think about the future because my present was consumed by the past. I was inpatient for nearly two years and I had no idea that I even had a future.
My abuse has been one of the worst things that has happened to me and it was so difficult to get to the point where I could function again. I was parlayed by fear and pain and I could not think.
This journey is hell and it is far from over- but last night I graduated.
I was able to be in my body and I could experience the good feelings that surrounded me. I kept asking my friend who was also graduating if this was real life- because it just felt so amazing.
There was a sense of accomplishment and love that I felt when I walked across that stage. It was like nothing else I had ever felt before and it was amazing.
In that moment I thought about everyone who supported me but more importantly I thought about how hard I had to work for this and it was just amazing.