I am

I am so excited that I can finally be writing this sentence- I am now a college graduate. As I was walking in with about a thousand other graduates, I finally felt something.  I was so proud of myself.

I thought back to the days when I could not even think about the future because my present was consumed by the past. I was inpatient for nearly two years and I had no idea that I even had a future.

My abuse has been one of the worst things that has happened to me and it was so difficult to get to the point where I could function again. I was parlayed by fear and pain and I could not think.

This journey is hell and it is far from over- but last night I graduated.

I was able to be in my body and I could experience the good feelings that surrounded me. I kept asking my friend who was also graduating if this was real life- because it just felt so amazing.

There was a sense of accomplishment and love that I felt when I walked across that stage. It was like nothing else I had ever felt before and it was amazing.

In that moment I thought about everyone who supported me but more importantly I thought about how hard I had to work for this and it was just amazing.


5 thoughts on “I am

  1. I am so proud of you as well. There are so many people who will never know the challlenges you have faced as a survivor and in your healing, so many more challenges in college than so many others could never understand. You are incredible and wonderful. I’m so glad to be able to celebrate this day with you.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.


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