I have been having a rough few weeks but all the hard days are going to be worth it. Because I am almost finished with one part of my degree and I will be finished at this school in less than 2 weeks. The graduation ceremony will be in about 3 weeks.
This is not just a graduation ceremony for me it is much more. My therapist always says that the greatest revenge is living well and that is what I am doing. Yes, I do still have rough days and I am still very effected by my past everyday but life is different.
School has helped to so much to develop autonomy from life in the mental health system. I never realized how sick I was until I stepped back.
I have tried to piece together how and when my life changed for the better. It is almost like I just woke up and suddenly realize that I can have peace and calmness in my life even though I am working on my abuse memories.
I had a great day with my best friend recently we spent the day at the zoo and it was just so perfect and peaceful. As we started out our day, we talked about how different life is for me now. Everything is so different and I can finally think clearly. During my early life, I never knew that I could separate the emotion away and just think about things at an intellectual level.
It is quite mind blowing if you think about it. Repression takes up so much space in your mind and there is not much room for anything else. It makes sense why it took me so long to learn new concepts.
If I could do my life over, I would want everything to be the same. My experiences even though they are not ideal or even humane I would not change them.
Today, I am so proud of me.