Cycles

Life has been busy lately for me. However, I like busy especially since my therapist has been on vacation. Before she went to vacation, I had some very painful yet meaningful important progressive sessions. These few weeks she has been away has given me some time to reflect and process some difficult memories. For the first time I was actually glad she went on vacation.

For me therapy does not just occur in my therapist’s office. Every day I am in some kind of situation that is painful and triggering. Brushing my teeth is difficult and food selection is especially difficult when I am working on painful memories.

It is not that I am a fussy eater by any means I like food A LOT; I just find that I have no appetite. I could go days without eating because I am simply never hungry. I am learning to listen to my body but when my body tells me that I am not hungry its confusing.  This happened to me once before but I contributed it to the medication I was prescribed.

Now I realize that was not the case. My goes through stages when I work through memories. Initially my body goes into some form of shock that at times feels calm. After it subsides, there is a period of sheer exhaustion yet I am unable to sleep.

I often wonder how much different life would be if I slept eight full hours a night. I was sitting in class before it started the other day I heard this one girl say that she slept for 12 hours that previous day. I just sat there trying to fathom how rested one could be after that many hours of sleep.

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2 thoughts on “Cycles

  1. I’ve been having some eating problems myself lately. I hope things go okay for you while your therapist is gone.

    I’ve been meaning to get over here for quite some time. I’ve been very slow at getting around to say thank you to my readers as I am winding down my Survivors Can Thrive blog after five years. Thanks for reading, for participating in and promoting the blog carnival AND, especially for hosting last month. You did such a wonderful job.

    I wish you many blessings, peace and much healing as you continue your journey. Take gentle care.

  2. I can relate to the shock part. There is only so much a body can take. And being exhausting. It is amazing to me how exhausting healing and therapy is. I don’t sleep well or deeply, so I can definitely relate to that, I wonder too how much better I would feel if I could trust the world to sleep deeply. I’ve never slept deeply.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

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