Many exciting things are happening in my life right now. I found out last night that I have been accepted to the university that I applied to. Although it is not my dream school, it is my “most logical school that is both close to my therapist and my job” option.
And in about 9 weeks, I will graduate from my current college with a degree in psychology. However, this is so much more than just a graduation- it signifies change. So I am very excited that everything is going to go according to plan.
Yeah, so the word plan has varied meanings to many of my alters. They have lists and specific memorized plans- almost unconscious plans. Actually, the word “sabotage” best describes their plans in the current world. However, these alters do not view their plans as “sabotage”. Their plan just is-
I was asked so many times about “plans” during the hospitalization period. It was one word that that decided whether we got to go home or not. It was one of the words I tried to avoid.
The body as a whole is and was not supposed to succeed. They push against and I pull- because I want them to see how awesome change & choice can be. But they are stubborn as are all my alters in different areas of self.
I don’t want to fight with them forever. I just wish they could see what the world is really like- they can have a different life where no one hurts them. They deserve a life of safety and calmness. All my alters want the same thing even though they are fighting against each other.
They all want acceptance. Because that was not included in their plans, they think it is wrong and bad when we push them towards that option. But sometimes you just have to go with the most logical option.