Spell check doesn’t understand DID

My blog has given me so many things.  When I created it in nearly a year ago, I never imagined that I would have so many healthy friendships because of it. My blog in itself is a friendship that I continually work on. I do not just write on bad days I write on the good days. I write about basically whatever I want.

I recently had a conversation with someone about how “normal” multiples really are. I always feel like people can tell that I have constant chatter in my head. However, the truth is they cannot.

When people meet me, they see a very un-integrated self who is healthy, organized and loves food.  As a whole I am a very random person, I really do not enjoy “getting deep” with my friends. I don’t like “getting deep” with my therapist but I do because I know it can help me.

Ok so the purpose of this post is to write about one of my therapy sessions last week. Ok so I have these parts (see my last blog post) that have been talking to our therapist. In order for them to come to surface, other parts have to come out first. They go through a very young part that only experiences flashbacks because that is her means of communication. She is learning how to fast-forward her flashbacks but nonetheless still experiences them.

Random thought: Spell check does not understand that I am a multiple. It is constantly trying to correct my sentences and does not understand internal communication.

The repressed parts come out and talk to my therapist and they learn about 2011. They had no idea that our body is in its mid 20’s. The outside world is foreign to them and in order for them to join our team; they need to see what goes on in 2011.

After our session was over, we felt different. An indescribable feeling of maybe relief regardless something shifted. I guess this is the feeling that people talk about- the thing that some people experience after expressing feelings or in my case letting parts out.



5 thoughts on “Spell check doesn’t understand DID

  1. Oh my gosh I totally agree with your title!! The thing that bugs me the most is when I type “the alters”. That little green squiggly line ALWAYS shows up! There are several other phrases and things like that too, but that is the one that really bugs me!

    This was a really good post :) I relate a lot to this.

  2. I’m here from the carnival at http://margarettidwell.blogspot.com/
    to show support to all contributors.

    I get this and its disturbing but brilliant to know other people experience what I do. I’m totally disconnected to the girl who suffered so… until my husband touches my polluted flesh. If only her and I could become one, perhaps I could show my love without the feeling of filth getting between us.

    I wish I’d never kept secrets. Thank you from shah at wordsinsync.blogspot.com.

  3. I find blogging to be very therapeutic. Like you, I write about anything….on dark days, I often write about survivor issues as a way to work through my feelings and gain understanding, and I have been so amazed at the outpouring of support I have received. On other days I write about light stuff, fun stuff, or even the very frivolous, but even that is a place of growth for me, being able to find the light things and embrace them.

    Sharing any part of my or my thoughts is hard, but through blogging I have stretched and grown.

    Those moments of shifting and new feelings are very good. Progress.

    Thank you for sharing this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.

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