Peace-Love-Hope

A few months ago my relationship with my sister changed. She started to see that I was a different person. She began to see me as a human being again and not as the ruination of her family.

She started to see how unhealthy our home truly is and she realized why I was so frustrated and hurt for a long time. She does not really understand DID or know any details of my abuse but it feels that she may be meeting me half way in many aspects.

When I was first came out about my abuse, she was angry with me. She was very mean to me for a long time. She has a conflict that she struggles with which is between my mother and me- being a good sister to me but at the same time wants to be a good daughter. For a long time she could not separate those two things for her it had to be all or nothing.

I honestly am still hurt because it took her so long to realize that I was not trying to ruin her family- I was just trying to have some peace in my life. In addition, I deserve that- there were so many times when I wanted my sister.

Most of my life I idolized her- and my younger parts still do. They love wearing her clothes because it helps them to feel closer to her.

I only wish and continually hope that my brother will reach a point where he can stop being angry with me for wanting peace in my life. It may take him longer because he is younger but I hope that he can get to a place where he can just see the person I am- in the present and not bring the past into it.

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One thought on “Peace-Love-Hope

  1. Wonderfully said.
    This is what happened in my family. They don’t realize that I had to say something or I would have lost what little mind I had left. They all think I told because I wanted attention. Blessings to your sister for not closing off her mind to the fact that you have needs, too.

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