My abuser was supposed to die weeks ago. Somehow, this person has not died yet. The days feel like years just waiting. The same feeling I used to have as a child…just waiting for someone.
I looked at this persons eyes nearly a month ago. I still saw the evilness. I saw what haunts me everyday first hand. Even though this person is nearly a vegetable, it terrified so many of us.
I remember the first time I saw the evil in those eyes. I was so confused because this person was not supposed to behave like that.
In my young mind, I told myself that is just what happens to everyone. After a while, mommy and daddy do not want you anymore. They give you away because you did too many bad things.
I am beginning to become apprehensive at the idea that people are going question my claims. I just need this person to disappear because that is all I have ever wanted.
The thing that kills me is that some of my supportive extended family members will be mourning my abusers lose for two days, while I have been mourning my abusers existence every day, all day.
I have all these plans for when it finally happens but there is still so much uncertainty.