Middle

My friends tell me that I only tell the middle parts of stories.

Most of my existence everything was the middle.  I have wished that my birth order was different cause I was born in between.

I am the middle child. I heard somewhere that middle children sometimes get lost within their families. However, I was not always a middle child – I was once the baby.

When my brother was born my life changed.

I was stuck in the middle. In the middle of two houses- In the middle of two worlds- In the middle of two different existences.

I lived in the middle. I have done everything humanly possible to not be in the middle.  Trapped between two lives, I gasp for air.

Nonetheless, I find myself going back towards the middle. The central point of my existence and feeling nothing.

My body and my brain are disconnected from each other.

I am standing still unable to feel.

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2 thoughts on “Middle

  1. I am a middle child, too, and i was lost within the family group. I still am. The only kind of attention I get from them is bad attention, but when I step away from my FOO and become involved with others, I find that I’m appreciated for who I am. I don’t know, tho, what it’s like to be split between 2 families, but I do know what it’s like to be trying to build a relationship with a daughter who is 38, and I just met her. I am really sorry that you have endured your childhood this way and I hope you find a way to overcome it.

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