Today while I was running, I came to the realization that there is nothing holding me back right now. I am applying to school for next fall and I have been holding back because I do not want to leave my job that I thought I loved. In addition, I was apprehensive about being so far away from my therapist.
Nevertheless, other than that there is nothing at home. My friends are always really busy and I never see them. I am graduating in the spring and I was going to apply to all these local schools. However, these local schools are all teaching the cognitive, behavioral side of psychology. Where that is all fine and good, I am not interested in that stuff.
I like Freud, Fromm, Žižek, Jung etc. My life somehow came alive when I started learning about these social psychologists. The “old” stuff helped me to see that thinking outside the box is very awesome.
Other people do think as I do. My classmates at my current school are not “revolutionist” as I claim to be- they are just trying to copy my homework. School is like church for me because when I go I feel better. I feel alive at school.
When I talk about Freud, Fromm, Žižek, and Jung with a select few people at my school all this trauma and abuse still feels miles away. School is my escape. I created that place and I am so ready to move away and just focus on what I really love. Nothing else really matters. Even if I just have happiness in one aspect of my life its better than never having any.