Keeping it together is something I never thought would happen. I never thought about the future because I really thought I would never have one. I wished to not wake up but was terrified of sleep.
I do not like myself and I fear that people can see how damaged I am. I try not to live my life though the past however, everything I do, think, feel is a direct result of my abusive past.
I want to find happiness, the type that children experience. The kind of happiness that makes a person wake up and see the day as new, instead of just the same thing.
Some days I just want to be held like a baby and rocked. However, I am too afraid of everything that entails.