Sometimes I forget what I do have. In addition, that I am not who I used to be.
I did many things that I wish I had not. I wish I never started so many unhealthy patterns. I wish I could take in all the support and positive words I receive. It is as if I cannot let myself hear those words from anyone.
I wish I could love myself and not hurt my body.
I want to stop dissociating everything I feel and disregarding my needs. Because there is a reason for mostly everything and I just need time to find it.
At times, my life is fun and I do like some pieces of it. However, I have somehow lost the peace that I used to have within myself.
Letting down my guard has been so difficult because it means that everything is so very real. And that is just terrifying.