Recently I have been at a loss for words. Many things are changing in my life and many are positive but at the same time, many things are not positive.
I have taken big risks in my therapy and it is possibly starting to benefit me. However, no matter how much work I do in therapy nothing can change my home environment.
It just seems to be so hopeless when I hear my mother glorify and feel sorry for my abuser. This person is physically sick and is mentally gone but still an abuser in my eyes.
It just makes me so angry when I hear my family talk about how sad it is that this person is dying. I have no sympathy for this person. When anyone in my family talks about this person, I just want to scream.
I want to scream out so they can hear my pain and frustration. I just want them to realize that this person hurt me and it is not okay to just shut up about it. They do not understand why this bothers me so much .
I just wish that one time they would pick me.