Role Call

Within my family, there are strict roles that males and females are supposed to follow.

Its seems as though females are to be label obsessed, naive beings always making males feel as though they are dominant beings. Males are supposed to be the “providers” and one who shows no emotions and they can do no wrong.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about gender roles. I am searching for this acceptance from my family that is never going to come.

For a long time I had so much anger towards the unacceptance I experience daily until I realized something.

“How is this helping me?”

My answer was that this anger towards my family is not helping me. It is also hindering my friendships because I tend to transfer my angry and defensive feelings.

Therefore, I am trying to let go on anger.

Do not get me wrong, I do forgive people when they are truly sincerely sorry. Nevertheless, in the case of my family detachment is the only alternative right now.

As I search for my role within my family structure, I am slowly realizing that I am part of a different kind of family. I am part of a big internal family where everyone accepts me just as I am.

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4 thoughts on “Role Call

  1. Hope – I have the same problem with gender roles in my family. I don’t fit it and I don’t fit in. What I’ve come to realize is that I threaten their belief of gender roles. My mother and sisters want my freedom of thinking and acting, but are too afraid of what ‘others’ will think. My brothers don’t like their monarchy to be challenged. I’d say that’s their problem. So — good for you that you are able to see this as something you can move around.

    • Ivory – I get so frustrated with gender roles. I have always felt that I had a pre-existing role, a role in which I do not fit into. When I do have kids I want them to grow up in a gender neutral environment. I know that everyone had “a gender” but I think that the roles create rigidity and bias thinking.

  2. Gender roles drive me nuts, what is the point? It hurts those who play the role and those that have to deal with them when playing there role.

    In my family there are strong gender roles. Made worse as the females are more competent. I am a male and I know my sister and mother are more competent than the rest of us.

    Although not important in the large scheme of things it is an example; Any college female golfer will beat at least 90% of male golfers from the long tees. How many males will face this fact? I bring it up often just for fun. Just so you know it causes most males to go into fits and denial.

    • Michael – gender roles drive me nuts too! I have a psychology of genders class right now, taught by a feminist. I mean I’m all for women’s rights but I like to hear all sides of things and she just omits the males perspective. I get so angry when females act uneducated and “damsel in distress-ish”. I think that media plays a part in that as well. Thanks for the fun fact :)

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