“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat…We must find each other”-Mother Teresa
This quote expresses so much for me right now.
The abuse during my childhood was not the worst thing that has happened to me. I adapted to the abuse and developed a means of survival.
I think the worst thing that happened to me was the betrayal and unacceptance I experience (d) from my family. Feeling unloved is so painful.
That is one feeling I am unable to dissociate away.
When I do get acceptance from my friends and people who support me I am unable to feel it. I want to be close to people but I cannot.
I am not allowed to feel love.
I am unlovable.