Medicating Multiples

At this very point in time i’m dealing with a difficult decision to make. To try medication again or stay med free. If you don’t know I have DID, PTSD & MDD.

Medicating a multiple can be difficult because there are many factors that you have to consiter. I read this article written by a former therapist and she said that only some parts need certain medications. And thats very true because not everyone in your system is depressed. Every alters body chemistry can also be differnt.

At my first hospitalized so they started me on an antidepressant. I was fine with that. But then my symptoms got way worse, like flashbacks and stuff. So my day program at the time gave me more meds to help me. Before I knew I was taking like nine differnt medicine. It’s not like the drs didn’t try but they just didn’t know what to do with me. I have what they call severe abreactions but I think they are just normal flashbacks but I’m not a dr yet.

But my so called abreactions used to last for hours. When they would last too long I guess after the first hour. They would give me an injection or an IM. The usual coctail of Ativan, haldol, cogentine. I really didn’t like it because if you know IM’s are usually injected in your buttock. So for anyone that uncomfortable. For a trauma survivor it’s really bad. I’m not going to explain but I think you get it.

So meds are a real turn off for me because of that. About six months ago I decided to stop taking all and any type of medications. At first I felt really good but now I don’t feel that great. But I don’t think that DID has to be treated with medication. I’m not saying stop taking your meds because thats dangerous. But i’m saying you might be able do it without meds just for everyone to think about. It’s all about the symptom managment.My primary therapist thinks that I might find it helpful to talk to a psychiatrist and see if I they can find something to take the edge off.

Don’t get me wrong at times I wish I had a prn to take. But at this moment I don’t. Not everyone inside wants to take medication again especially the littles, I understand their reasoning. One little told me that they are just trying to tell their story (through flashbacks) and all the drs and just making them go to sleep. Sleep is a scary and confusing thing for everyone in my system.

So I end this discussion for right now but it is no way over for me. I wish my insiders could just agree..I wish that alot. I think thats common for most multiples though.

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8 thoughts on “Medicating Multiples

  1. All my parts feel the same they just see things from a different point of view. Pretty much the have different experiences and so they have different feelings. Go figure.

    I am med free and it is hard. I personally can not heal on meds. What is good for one is not good for another.

    To be clear I use nicotine and caffeine to regulate. That works better for me than the meds.

    I often wonder if the mind can be medicated or only the brain.

    The last time I took meds it was because parts of me that knew better were to worn out to protect themselves.

    Tough decision I wish you well with it.

    • MFF,
      Thanks for differnt point of view on this. I really wasn’t sure what kind of feedback I was going to get because alot of multiples I know and blog I read talk about meds as something they can not live without.

      Not saying i’m totally aganist medication. I’m just saying it may not be for all multiples. I also wonder if the mind can be medicated because it has nothing to do with chemicals and thats what meds are used for.

      I found that since I stopped meds I do have to work harder but I get a chance to use all those skills I paid so much money to learn.

      But I think it’s awesome that your living med free. A whatever you have to do to regulate..its just what you have to do.

      Healing thoughts

  2. Hope,
    As a future doctor, fellow trauma survivor, but most importantly, as your real-life friend; I really hope you will consider at least seeing a psychiatrist again that your T recommends for you. Your abreactions are the worst I’ve ever seen (which doesn’t make you bad at all, I hope esp. your littles understand that that is NOT what I’m saying) & I CAN’T IMAGINE how much pain you’re in. So considering your MDD and the fact that you could get a PRN, I really hope you at least give it a try. I’m not saying back up to the 9 meds from you-know-where. That drowned you out and made you a zombie. Plus, your parts need to express themselves and be heard. But a try with a specialized psychiatrist might be worth it. I hope you can get your whole system on board with whatever decision you make.

    Love,
    The Mystery ;)

    • Dr. Mystery,

      I hear what your saying. I am thinking about it. I do value your view because its difficult to gage where I am, with severity of my flashbacks.

      You can see them from the outside. Thats one view I can’t really have. I have seen other multiples have flashbacks but I don’t feel they are like mine. But I know every person is differnt.

      My Littles do feel bad because of all the people that they overheard talking about how we disrupted their program. But they know that you are not one of them, and understand that you are not saying they are bad.

      Thanks for your feedback. Healing thoughts

  3. Hi Hope,

    I don’t use meds and haven’t for a long time. I don’t have flashback flooding like you talked about, so if I did that would be a concern. I am not sure if I would choose to ever do meds again. I agreed with my previous doctor to go on anti-depressants if I were suicidal or self-harming. Those are the two things that are lines in the sand for me.

    I have known lots of multiples who do not use meds. They have been medicated wrongly or rightly, but for them it did not help. There is an understanding among trauma therapists that medications are very hard to manage in a multiple, they need to be taken by the same personality every day, they need monitoring due to the multiple system, and they can often be ineffective and create many bad side effects. I know other multiples who have taken meds for some time and no longer do it. I know other multiples who have taken meds long-term or who take meds and are in the beginning of their healings. So I think you will find that there is a wide wide range of how meds effect multiples and how they think and feel about them.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    • Hey Kate,

      Thanks for commenting. My primary therapist who specializes in trauma disorders also feels that medicine may not always be the awnser. I do agree that I may not need to be on medicine. I know there are some bad lasting effects of some psychtropic drugs.

      It is a very delicate process for psychiatrist. As we know some personas have differnt chemistrys. What may work for one does not work for all.

      If I do plan on taking medicine again it will be short term..just maybe a few months if that. The thing that bothers me is withdrawl symptoms. I was on effexor and that has some really horrible withdrawl symptoms and they lasted for like 6 weeks.

      But thankyou for sharing your experience with me. Take Care. Be Well.

  4. Pingback: One Year Strong « Hope for Trauma

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